Risking It All (A Begin Again Novel Book 2) by Morningstar Ashley

Author:Morningstar Ashley [Ashley, Morningstar]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-09-05T16:00:00+00:00

The drive from Danny’s passed in a blur. Muscle memory being the only thing getting him home. He’d made the trip so many times over the last few weeks that when he found himself sitting in Bennett’s driveway, Jaden wasn’t surprised.

Jaden could feel his hands, still gripping the steering wheel, trembling. Afraid if he let go, the shaking would spread to the rest of his body, he held on, hoping he could wait it out. That the calm would come.

He had to make it to his room without Bennett seeing him visibly shaking. It would lead to questions. Jaden wasn’t mentally in a place to provide the answers.

Even for himself.

He’d been steadily ignoring any of the thoughts trying to push to the front, tried to make himself think about how much he’d probably hurt Danny…sweet gentle Danny. His teddy bear.

Jaden was mad at himself. He’d done this. He’d let it go on and on until this crossroad came. And he failed to find the right path. He’d failed to not hurt someone he’d grown to care about, more than care about. God, he felt like such a fucking asshole.

But he knew…he knew Danny wouldn’t accept him if he found out Jaden was HIV positive. Danny was too naïve, not in a bad way, but a sheltered-from-it-all kind of way. Danny probably had misconceptions about what living with HIV meant now. Jaden had thought about bringing it up numerous times in the hours and hours they’d sat and talked. Yet he’d chickened out. Kept it to himself, fearful what he assumed about Danny—and he wasn’t in denial about his assumptions—would make the rejection he was sure to receive all that more real.

Banging on his steering wheel and yelling, his frustration and fear spilled out. Jaden had to get himself together. Bennett or Mac would think it odd he was sitting in his car for so long. Especially since they hadn’t expected him home for a few more hours.

That was his pattern. Go to Danny’s and stay until after they were already in bed then come home to a quiet house and a quiet room where he lay in his bed, thinking about the man he just left.

Placing his throbbing hands on his thighs, he closed his eyes. Deep breath in then letting it whoosh out. Again and again until he felt calmer. The pain of hurting Danny, the fear heavy in his chest, squeezing his heart, was still there, but now, when he walked into the house and had to face Bennett, it would be easier.

Jaden stepped out of the car and walked up the path to the front door. He held onto the door knob, ready to walk in. Jaden could hear them in there, quietly talking in the living room. One more deep breath and he let his mask slip into place, the smile and bright eyes he used to charm so many rich persons into donating to a worthy charity.

“Hello, my lovelies.” Mac and Bennett were on the couch in the living room.

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